


Kill Claudio

by greatestvoyagehistoryofplastic



Category: Nothing Much to Do
Genre: (well spoilers for what happens in the play, F/M, Many swears, Mentions of Hero Claudio Pedro and Leo, Spoilers, script-style, they could of course change things a lot in the series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-20
Updated: 2014-07-20
Packaged: 2018-02-09 14:36:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1986636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greatestvoyagehistoryofplastic/pseuds/greatestvoyagehistoryofplastic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I might-I COULD… I could love you too. LIKE you. I could like you too. Wow who knew breathing could get so difficult?"</p><p>After the disaster of Hero's birthday party, Benedick and Beatrice finally get a (not so) quiet moment together.</p><p>A script-format (although not vlog format) fan imagining of  how the Nothing Much to Do team COULD adapt the second half of Act 4, Scene 1 of Much Ado About Nothing (commonly known as the Kill Claudio scene).<br/>NMTD is almost definitely going to reach this scene in around a month, and this has nothing to do with what their version will be like, it just makes me happy to play around with their fabulous versions of these characters.<br/>Major spoilers for at least the play.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kill Claudio

**Author's Note:**

> I felt almost bad writing this but I couldn't help myself. I'm honestly not trying to say that I think I can adapt this scene better than the Candle Wasters in any way, in fact I know the opposite is going to be true. I just had all these ideas about how it COULD go and wanted to get them down, and I've been writing scripts a lot more than prose recently because of uni so doing it this way felt more natural. But it's not Vlog or Watch Projects style so at least that makes this less weird right? Still, really sorry if this annoys any of the NMTD team in any way.  
> Oh and it's not Betad so any mistakes are entirely my fault.

_BEA is sitting half way up stairs in HERO and LEO’s house. Her face is in her hands and she’s obviously upset. BEN appears at the bottom of the stairs, unsure whether he should be there or not._

BEN: Beatrice? Um, Bea?

BEA: [ _not looking up_ ] What do you want?

BEN: Me? Oh I… I came to see if you were okay. After all that… well, I mean … [ _sighs_ ] shit.

BEA: [ _looks at him_ ] Well what do you think?

BEN: I... okay, good point.

_There is a long pause_

BEN: I love you. I mean, if that helps.

BEA: … what?

BEN: I don’t know. That was REALLY stupid wasn’t it?

BEA: WHAT

BEN: I was trying to, I was just trying to… er… I’m gonna go now.

_BEN ducks out of sight, BEA stands up and runs down the remaining steps after him_

BEA: No, NO! no! don’t you DARE.

_BEN has already stopped a little way down the hallway. BEA catches up with him. They stand face to face._

BEA: I…

_Another long pause during which BEN stares at BEA while she tries to make herself say what she needs to say._

BEA: No, nope. This… THIS is too weird, just… forget it, okay? Okay. Good. I mean-

BEN: Beatrice what IS it?

_beat_

BEN: Bea?

BEA: [ _She takes a deep breath_ ] I might-I COULD… I could love you too. LIKE you. I could like you too. Wow who knew breathing could get so difficult?

BEN: You do?

BEA: Yes. Maybe. But Ben I really can’t get into this right-

BEN: [ _smiling, completely_ relaxing] You luurve me.

BEA: Shut up! As I was just SAYING: right now just isn’t-

BEN: Oh our kids are going to be fucking AWESOME.

BEA: BEN!

BEN: [ _even happier_ ] That’s the first time you’ve called me Ben in years.

BEA: [ _Momentarily allowing herself to be distracted_ ] completely over-exaggerating! And don’t get used to it either if you’re going to keep acting like this I mean- [ _She remembers what she was just trying to say and deflates. Her voice becomes quieter, less characteristically flippant_ ] I MEAN… ooooh… [ _she huffs_ ] shit Ben, way to pick a moment. I’ve… urgh, I’ve got a crying cousin upstairs and I’ve got a cousin whose ass I need to kick downstairs a-and it’s really late and I’m CONFUSED and-

BEN: [ _all of his usual front is dropped the second he understands how deeply upset she is and he is suddenly just a person genuinely trying to comfort the girl he loves_ ] Hey, hey, It’s okay. You’re right. You always are eh? I’m really sorry.

_BEA didn’t expect him to understand, she looks on the edge of tears again._

BEN: Oh come here.

_BEN holds out his arms towards BEA and she uncertainly steps into them. He holds her for a little while._

BEA: [ _Pulling away slightly_ ] Everything’s just so crap right now. I don’t want… you don’t have to get sucked into all that, we can do this later.

BEN: No, really, I don’t mind. I would face weeping angels for you. There I’ve said it now: ACTUAL weeping angels. With the teeth and the _[He pulls the vampiric expression of an angel just before it attacks_ ] I’d actually walk through that whole forest of them in “Flesh and sto-”

_BEA kisses him, just for a moment. BEN looks as if he just got struck by lightning and BEA bursts out laughing. A level of normalcy is brought back to the situation._

BEA: Your FACE. I’m sorry, I’m really sorry but-

_BEA cracks up again, BEN looks on with a great deal of fondness, although he tries to act offended._

BEN: yeah yeah alriiight.

_BEN’s face slowly becomes more serious and thoughtful as he waits for BEA to stop laughing._

BEN: You know, I could at least have a chat with Claud for you about this. Try and work out what his side of the story is.

_BEA smiles, then fully understands what BEN just said._

BEA: His. side.

BEN: Yeah, I mean-

BEA: HIS. FUCKING. SIDE?

BEN: Beatrice? What-

BEA: That DOUCHEBAG just LIED about my cousin and BROKE HER HEART in front of EVERYONE WE KNOW.

BEN: I KNOW THAT. I-I do Bea. But I’m GUESSING there was a reason.

BEA: [ _hisses_ ] Are you even suggesting-

BEN: No obviously I don’t think Hero had sexytimes with Robbie, but Claud and Pedro are my friends and-

BEA: Your FRIENDS? [ _She laughs dangerously_ ] If you still think of them as your friends after this then… [ _She becomes momentarily speechless with rage_ ] Oh you NEVER change, do you? I can’t BELIEVE I thought for a moment there that… You know what? NO. no you really ARE a DICK. Have a nice life. Or, or even better? DON’T.

_BEA turns to leave but BEN catches her by the wrist._

BEN: BEATRICE!

BEA: GET. OFF. ME. NOW.

_BEN does as he’s told but immediately starts talking before BEA has a chance to disappear._

BEN: So what would YOU do if you were me? Eh?

_BEA stops dead, then very slowly turns around and goes back to BEN, unable to keep herself from a good rant._

BEA: If _I_ were you? If I were you, BeneDICK, I’d throw out “The bro code” or whatever it is that teaches you guys all that “bros before hoes” shit and ACTUALLY think for a second about what they did. And to Hero. Hero the NICEST PERSON WE KNOW. The one who wouldn’t hurt a FLY. The one who hasn’t stopped crying for TWO HOURS. If I was you? I would KILL them.           Tell them exactly where they should go and-and just rip them into pieces. Hell I’m going to do that anyway. So what about YOU Ben? Really whose side are YOU on? The girl whose life just got ruined or the BASTARDS who ruined it?

_BEN is thinking, considering. He looks BEA straight in the eye._

BEN: [ _Levelly_ ] Can you think of any way this might have been a mistake? Any reason… at all for them to suspect what they said they did?

BEA: No, None. I mean come on it’s _Hero._

_BEN digests this statement._

BEN: Then of course I’m on Hero’s side. On your side.

BEA: [ _For lack of anything else to say]_ Good.

BEN: I’m going to ask them what the bloody HELL they think they were doing and I’m going to make Claudio sorry for it. Somehow.  

_BEN makes a move towards the front door._

BEA: You’re going right now?

BEN: Well… yes. Do you want to come?

BEA: Yes. But Hero needs me here, and I’ve got a thing or two to say to Leo.

BEN: Okay… I’ll see you after then?

_BEA nods._

BEA: Come and tell me what happens.

_BEN forces a small smile and starts to leave again._

BEA: And Ben?

BEN: Yeah?

BEA: Thank you.

_BEN manages a more genuine smile._

BEN: “Summer is the time for squabbles. In winter, we must protect one another”

_BEA smiles back and at last, BEN leaves. BEA stares at the place where he was for a long time before leaving herself to take care of her cousin._

-END-

 

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by Act 4, Scene 1 of Much Ado About Nothing.  
> Ben's last words come from Game of Thrones by George R R Martin  
> The Doctor Who episode he refers to earlier is Flesh and Stone, Series 5, Episode 5


End file.
